I really need to think it over, cause I almost lost my mind in recent days. I watched prison break. But that is not the problem. What really concerned about me is the girl stuff. Frankly what am I really cared is not yl, but me myself. whatever she did now, she has fuck-all to do with me, but the thing is that I need one. I could not deny that I do like her somehow but that is ok, we have nothing and we are just normal friends and I was not supposed to care her so much. Apparently she is not my type although I don’t know exactly what kind of girl is more appropriate to me, maybe I am too young to have a girlfriend because all the attractive girls around me seem older than me.

 This semester is not as busy as last one so that gives me a chance to think a lot. Probably I need to move on, but I still couldn’t calm down myself and focus on my study, especially in German. From now on I think …… I know exactly that I need a girlfriend but in the opposite I gotta face to my future. My lovely mother is always supportive she will say do what you want; but this time I cant do what I want since what I want might be wrong. I am quite sure that I don’t love yl.

 Maybe I should keep a distance from her for me and also for her. I might be a little bit jealous and one day I would regret, but that is ok and I will be fine. I still have my guys.